Refined

For several years now I have felt that in order to truly become more Christ like I really needed to delve into the life and teachings of our Savior.  I have always felt that I could not know how to be more like Him if I was not familiar with His teachings and life.  Therefore, I have started reading "Jesus the Christ" during my gospel study.  I have just begun, so I haven't learned anything profound yet, but I'm anxious to see what jewels I uncover.

I am also learning that it is not until you are sufficiently humbled that your heart is open and receptive to His life and teachings.  Recently I have wished that I could just choose to be humble instead of being compelled to be humbled.  Being compelled is rather painful and not so fun. 

It never amazes me how He submitted Himself to unspeakable ridicule, hatred, and betrayal that none of us will ever have to come close to experiencing.  I'm starting to realize that He was only able to do it because He was fully and completely refined.  Pure to the core in every way.  No rough edges for hurt and wrongs done against Him to get hung up on.  He saw the bigger picture and that was so much more important and meaningful to Him. 

Right now I feel as if I am a very jagged piece of stone in His hands.  Instead of refined small grain sandpaper, a lot of hacking off chunks is occurring.  I will not lie - it hurts.  But I shouldn't expect anything differently if my goal is as His - to be like Him - perfectly refined.