I'm about ready to go loony!!!! Who would have thought that buying a home would be so stressful? It has been so stressful in fact, that I have been displaying physical manifestations of it. I have been getting dizzy, but don't feel like I'm going to faint, and I feel like I don't have control over my hands, kind of an out of body experience. I have gone to the doctor for fear I was developing a brain tumor or getting MS, but he "assured" me that it was all anxiety induced. I have done Internet searching and found him to most likely be correct. Most people would think that finding a house would not be that difficult - especially in this market. There are hundreds of homes for us to choose from, but we just seem to not be able to pick one, and when we FINALLY do, it doesn't work out. Either we are too late in putting a bid down or there are problems enough with the foundation that our insurance company won't ensure the house (I guess most would see that as a blessing, but then why did I feel good about buying it in the first place?).
I have this extreme fear/phobia/psychosis that if I don't get the exact house that is intended for our family that my kids school will be held up by mad gunman, our house will blow away in a tornado or burn to the ground, we will have hellish neighbors who want to hurt me and my children, and that the rest of my life is eternally damned. I know, it sounds severe, and crazy, and absolutely absurd, but that is what goes through my brain on a daily/hourly basis. Where is my faith? Where is my "rational button" when I need it?
Why can't I be like those people I so admire, who just make a decision and go for it? They aren't afraid, they don't over analyze, they just do it.
I have come to the sad realization (I think) that it is a choice I have to make and that the earth is not going to stop in it's orbit and the heavens aren't going to part and a ray of sun and a big booming voice is not going to declare to me the house I am destine to live in.
All I'm asking for is peace of mind. Is that too much to want?
3 comments:
peace of mind is not too much to ask for - but perhaps the big booming voice is. buying house is always a stressful experience - i think my parents say it was the most stressful points of their lives. but hang in there. i'll visit you in the funny farm and you can visit me in the looney bin. :) how fun for us.
Megan, we have moved about 16 times and what you are going through is pretty normal. It a huge decision. I promise you that all of a sudden it will all become clear and will work out! What part of the city are you looking in?
We are looking in St. Charles county. I don't know how developed that was when you lived here, but it is booming now. You can get a much bigger house for your money and it's not as crowded. We have managed to narrow it down to 3 homes, so hopefully we can agree and make a decision soon.
By the way, are you going to be in the Portland area when Sarah has her baby? We are coming out the 1st part of April and would love to see you if you are there. I'm hoping to meet up with Sarah reguardless.
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