I am lucky in my life that really hard days are few and far between. I don't suffer from debilitating depression, chronic pain, or a whole host of other things that would make life on a daily basis hard. I have many things that I am very grateful for and richly blessed. So why do somethings just seem to overwhelm you at times and get you really down and make it hard for you to remember all the good things that you do have?
Details will be fleeting in this post. Just know that it's been not a great one. I always seem to hear those stories of how people have some really hard moments and when they think they can't go on or that no one remembers them or cares, someone shows up and does something, or says something that seems to make it all better. That never happens to me. I was hoping events of this evening would have helped with earlier events of the day, but they just seemed to fuel the fire. There's no one really to blame but myself, but it still hurts. There was a huge positive light in the whole thing and maybe sometime down the road it will make the hurt from today seem small and insignificant.
Events that have great potential to be happy and joyous are quickly approaching. I pray that they will be. I'm scared of the unknown possibilities and their consequences but try to push through them and look at the positive. Faith is all I have to cling to.
I have come to learn that life and events rarely turn out the way you had hoped or planned. Fortunately for me, life as a whole has turned out better than I had planned. It's funny how the individual aspects of life can be far from what you would have hoped, but collectively life becomes exactly what you would have wanted. It doesn't make any sense. But I find it very true. The things I plan in my head always turn up short, but the things I could have never imagined turn out 10x's better than I ever could have planned. Does that make any sense?
The clock at the bottom of my screen says a lot - 3:25 a.m. - and I've been up since 6 a.m. I have learned that much of life's disappointments are solved by a good nights sleep. My mind was heavy earlier, but now feels lightened.
Someone was listening out for me. EKM - thanks for the message. I really needed that tonight.
4 comments:
oh megs i'm sorry that life seems heavy right now to ya. but you definitely make sense and you are definitely not alone. life is so good one minute and so tough the very next. hang in there.
i should have just called you! :( if i end up not working tonite i'll give you a call. if i do work, i'll try tomorrow.
still thinking of ya and missing ya! love ya, too.
Saying a prayer for you. Hope your family is o.k.
Hang in there, Megan. I have had hard times, too, especially during these past two years. Sometimes I have felt like my challenges were mine alone to bear, that no one else would be able to relate or sympathize or that even if I tried to talk about it, it would all sound so trivial, and yet it still felt so hard. Thinking of you and I'll keep you in my prayers.
love, Britt
You are an amazing writer Megan. even though I have no idea what your talking about (what the details are), I know exactly what your talking about. Things unplanned always turn out better infinately than if my life when EXACTLY how I planned it. Well not ALWAYS,like say Cache pees his pants in walmart..no that isn't better, but when it comes to big things in life that really count... I'll be thinking and praying for you.
Amie
ps. Oh i was sad not to make it last night. I was sorely needed at home. SORELY
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