When Greg and I first got married one of our favorite shows to watch was “Everybody Loves Raymond”. In short, Raymond’s family is less then perfect. His parents are overbearing, his wife spent and harried from raising 3 kids, and his relationship with his brother at times strained. It’s a show where normal family relationships and dynamics are exaggerated to highlight many of the things we all deal with in our own families.
One of our favorite episodes is when Ray’s brother Robert finally
marries Amy. True to form, this wedding episode brings to light a lot of
fears many of us may have when trying to plan a wedding, melding two families
that are very different into one. It
doesn’t go well. Things are done and
said that hurt feelings and generally threaten to all but ruin this special day
for the wedding couple.
At the end of the episode Ray stands to give the best man
toast. The whole episode he’s been
trying to determine exactly what he was going to say. To sum it up, he talks about the importance
of "editing". People will say and do
things that will hurt others. Things
won’t always turn out the way that everyone hopes. People and situations aren’t always going to
be perfect. But, we can choose to take
those experiences and “edit” them, make them so that what we remember is the
good, not the bad.
I tend to be quite animated when I am talking to
others. I’m not one to really hide or
downplay what I really think. It is a
good and bad characteristic of mine. You
know exactly where I stand and that’s good, until it’s bad. When Greg was still coming to know this side
of me and we would be talking about a certain situation where I was letting
everything and anything come flying out of my mouth, he would often say to me,
with an almost begging to the contrary tone in his voice, “You didn’t actually
say that? Did you?”
After a few of these exchanges I finally looked at him in exasperation
and said, “Off course not! You are
getting the un-edited version!”
No matter what any of us do in life, or the situations we
find ourselves in, I think I’m safe in saying we are constantly in a state of
“EDIT”. People are mean, situations less
then ideal, and circumstances beyond our control. I often catch myself wondering if I should say
exactly what is running through my head or temper it with a heavy dose of
editing. I’m learning to err on the side
of edit. Words can be added, but rarely
taken back. A good nights sleep often
puts a whole new spin on things and is a great tool for editing.
This year has brought a push from somewhere beyond myself to
write a lot more on my blog. It’s need
and importance comes from an external source that gives me confidence and
desire to actually do it, no matter the cost.
But there is a cost. By putting
myself out “there” I run the risk of offending, saying something in the
wrong way, and painting a picture incorrectly.
This will be done not necessarily by intention, but by weakness in
writing and diplomacy. I want to keep my
writing real and fresh but at my expense, no one else’s. I know I will fail on many fronts to
accomplish this as I expand, stretch, and write the things from my heart. It will undoubtedly happen as I stand and
defend truths both personal and universal.
In truths defense, I will make no apologies. Truth is not mine to edit.
So to you the reader, I hope you will give me the benefit of
the doubt in this new journey I’m on.
Take what I say, let it linger in your mouth like a hard butterscotch
candy letting it’s juices trickle down the back of your throat, swallow it
all at once, or when needed, violently spit it back out. But more then anything, I hope you will give
me the benefit of editing, taking away the good while leaving behind the bad.
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